* Holy Family (C), December 27, 2009
* Theme: The Holy Family is a Real Family

* Family Life and Children,
* I am sure that like Hannah in the first reading, some parents at times would love to leave there children off at the church, and forget about them once and for all.
* Sorry !!!

* The Porcelain figurines of our Nativity Scene – are just that – figurines.
* They are the “baby pictures” that don’t tell us much about the life of the family.
* Today’s Gospel reading from St. Luke reminds us that Jesus belonged to a real family like the one in which we grew up, or like the one we live in now.
* His parents anguish, question, search, and assume the boy has gotten lost on purpose (Why have you done this to us?)
* The child wanders off, gets lost, talks back, and assumes his parents do not understand him (Did you not know that I…?)
* The mother keeps all these things in her heart
* Sound familiar?

* When Jesus returned to Nazareth with Mary and Joseph,
* He was obedient to them.
* He advanced in wisdom and age and favor before God and people.
* This growth did not happen superhumanly.
* Jesus is part of a human family with devout Jewish parents who passed on their faith and their family customs and values to their son.
* As his parents, Joseph and Mary taught and nourished Jesus to manhood.
* God’s taking flesh among us means Jesus grew and matured the way we do – under the influence of parents, extended family, friends and neighbors
* Jesus was not raised in a rarefied atmosphere far from the influence of family.
* On the contrary, he was very much immersed among people who cherished, nourished and stood by him, even though they did not fully understand him.

* We live in a world today that has many definitions of “Family”.
* Nuclear Families with kids
* Very extended families that function as one entity
* Two adult households with No Kids
* Single adult households with kids
* Et cetera

* While all these types of families are different, some things are very similar in my experience, such as:
* For good or for bad, there is no greater influence on the life of a person than the person’s family
* The family can be the greatest source of love in a person’s life.
* There is NO SUCH THING as the “perfect family”, and as a matter of fact, all families have their own problems.
* It does no good for anyone to spend life blaming the family for all of his or her problems.

* I have prepared a fair number of couples for marriage over the years.
* Some older, some younger, Spanish speaking, English speaking, and I have also had the opportunity to work with some gay couples as well.
* Some things stand out in my mind as I reflect on this work.

* One of the first questions I have come to ask a couple as they consider marriage is, “Do you ever argue?”
* If they answer, “We love each other, we never argue,” I invite them to leave and to come back after they have had their first good argument.
* We are each unique human beings with our good points and bad points.
* In addition, the pressures of life are high today.
* We are going to have differences of opinion, and if we live together, we are going to have arguments.  That’s the way it is.
* However, if we can have differences of opinions and arguments without damaging the other person at the core, we can make it as a couple.
* Somehow, in sane moments, when tempers are cool, we have to find out from each other how not to hurt each other so deeply that the wounds will never heal.

* Another thing that I have learned is that no one can “fix” another person.
* We can improve our communication skills.
* One can change oneself;
* One can become more understanding and compassionate;
* One can learn to accept oneself and one’s companion;
* But, no one can force anyone else to change. (Change happens when one wants to change.)

* I have another universal truth:
* Parents do not understand kids.
* The world of the next generation is completely different from the world in which their parents were raised.
* All that parents can do is give their children lots of love, instill in them a good value system, be good listeners when they need to talk – and then hope for the best.
* Likewise – Kids never understand their parents.
* But as kids get older, they seem to learn that their parents were not so dumb after all.
* As kids get smarter, they learn how much their parents love them and want what is best for them.

* Finally, I fully believe that when it comes to families – God helps.
* Sometimes life just gets out of control.
* All of our families face crises.
* All of us reach points in our lives at which we feel that there is no way out.
* I have found that individuals and families that have a strong life of faith – not just “me and Jesus” – but a deep personal faith as well as a community of faith in which they are involved,
* Have a better chance of finding their way through these crises.
* For these families, belief in God is not an obligation to be endured,
* But rather a source of joy to make life richer and a source of strength to help them through the rough spots along the way

* I am grateful for the families of this parish – family units of all kinds.
* I am grateful for the love that I see across generations, races, and sexes, and for all the hard work it takes to keep families together.

* As we continue with our liturgy,
* Let’s pray to the HOLY FAMILY, for our families – men and women and children – that God might give each of us the insight to be more compassionate and loving people.

* Amen

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